LMFAO ~ "Party Rock Anthem"

This is Sydney & Garrett's new favorite song.  Who needs coffee when you're listening to this at 8:15 am on the way to school?

Watching them dance in the backseat...priceless.

Resolutions

Live A Healthy Lifestyle
Blah, blah, blah.  I know this is on everyone's list every January.  But for me, it's no longer just about losing weight and being focused on a number.  We lived a pretty healthy lifestyle last year until August, when Scottie passed away.  We were looking and feeling better than we had in a decade thanks to our healthy changes, but after August, we slowly rolled back down hill.  And once Halloween came, we gave up completely.  By December we felt sick, tired and unfocused.  It's proof to me that all those little choices we make throughout the day add up to a big deal = how we feel.  And I want to feel good, rested, energized and driven. 

So I'm back to my healthy ways that I started a year ago:
Eating the right foods and the right amounts of them.
Limiting foods that make me feel sluggish and give me headaches {sugars and breads}.
Eating as organic and un-processed as possible.
Cooking from scratch using real food {what a concept!}
Eat an apple a day.
Having treats in moderation {duh, I'm a foodie!}
Yoga three times a week {I love Mandy Ingber's Yogalosophy} & trying to be more active in general.
Plenty of sleep because I do not function well when I'm not rested!
As always, drinking lots of water {we've been a no pop family for 3 years now!}
Drinking apple cider vinegar a few times a week {1tbsp acv mixed with 8 oz water}.
Gargling salt water daily.
Taking vitamins.
And my new one I'm adding this year is green tea.  I'm going to try to drink at least one glass a day because green tea has antioxidants and is supposed to have numerous health benefits.

Be Creative and Productive
I've realized something about myself: I spend a lot of time finding great creative ideas and projects to try, mainly thanks to Pinterest {best thing ever}!  However, I rarely take the time to do any of them.  So I'm going to make a real effort to tap into my creative side and actually get things done. 

On my creative to do list:
Learn to sew {second attempt}
Learn to crochet {second attempt}
Revamp old stuff {spray paint is my best friend}
Makeover our house.  I've been working on this one a while.  We've lived here 5 years and my decorating tastes have changed.  I'm slowly trying to change the look in the house and make our spaces what we need them to be.  Projects in the works right now are turning our bonus room into an adorable playroom, turning our formal dining room into an office and making our utility room more functional. {All on a tight budget of course!}
Continue turning our backyard into our personal playground.  I'd love to add more landscaping, rocks, etc.  Maybe get a chiminea eventually.

Get Outdoors and Have Adventures
I hope 2012 is the year we finally take adventures.  We all want so badly to spend weekends camping, hiking and exploring Oklahoma.  And the weekends we aren't out having adventures, I want to be home.  I've decided we all hate running around.  We're just home bodies.  Don't get me wrong, we love going to arts festivals or bowling or any special outing like that.  We're just tired of running around just for the sake of finding something to do.  I think we all enjoy our time more at home, working on projects or playing outside.

Make More Time for Date Nights & Friends
You know when you hang out with friends and you leave thinking "that was fun, we should do it more often"?  Well, I really want to do it more often.  I hope to have lots of cookouts and nights out with friends this year.

Allen and I are pretty good about making time for date nights.  And we're pretty lucky that our Mom's are aways happy to watch the kids for us.  I hope 2012 brings many fun date nights for us, whether it's concerts or just a quiet dinner where we can actually have an un-interrupted conversation...something that's getting harder and harder with two young, happy and energetic kids!

And my last resolution is a biggie for me...

Let Go of Fear
I've been struggling for a while now with fear.  Fear of something bad happening.  But mainly fears over our health and us getting sick.  It seems I have to hit rock bottom on something in order to resolve it.  I have been gradually getting worse over the last year and hit my rock bottom this winter.  In my usual fashion, I've analyzed it all and I think I've figured out why I am trying so hard to control whether or not we get sick.  Even though my Dad died 4 1/2 years ago, this ugly scar of mine has moved to the surface.  I'm afraid of not being able to be healed.  The old me just assumed that if you got sick, doctors would fix you.  But I saw my Dad take his last breath and I could not help him.  And now 4 1/2 years later, seeing that has me paralyzed with fear of us getting sick and dying.  I know it sounds crazy, but it's amazing how such a tragic event can shape your thinking.  It hasn't helped matters that in 2011 both my babies had hospital visits for two very scary things.  And then losing Scottie so unexpectedly in August.  It's no wonder my fear of tragedy has gone off the grid.

But from this day forward, I am making a huge effort to let go of my fears.  None of it is in my hands and I'm just wasting my energy trying to control it.  It is time that I truly trust that God will take care of us.  That doesn't mean we won't get sick or experience tragedy.  But it means that God will guide us through it.  I need to trust his plan for me and I need to trust his timing.  Ironically, our first church sermon of the new year had a lot to do with letting go of fear.  Easier said than done, but I'm ready to take this leap of faith.

Momma's Boy

This lil guy is changing so fast lately.  He seems to have gotten taller overnight.  The little boy who has always tried to keep up with his sister is rapidly catching up to her in size & speed.  I'm afraid he is no longer a baby. :(  The good news is that the terrible twos {& threes} seem to be mostly a thing of the past.  Whew.  Those were some tough times.  He went from the happiest baby on earth to the most stubborn two year old on earth, seemingly overnight. 

And just like that, he has now moved on to silly prankster.  He cracks me up daily with his ornery antics.  When he doesn't know I'm looking, and I catch him hiding something from his sister.  He can't keep a straight face and neither can I while watching him.  He loves to hide from me and giggles the whole time I "look" for him. 

He has the funniest vocabulary, saying things like "that sure sounds like a good idea to me".  Or saying the prayer at dinner, "thank you for this lovely dinner".  Where does he come up with this stuff?

I may start making him wear a helmet.  He seems to bump his head, fall down or run into a wall daily.  He recently hit his head and had to get staples.  According to my mother in law, he gets this from his Daddy & this probably won't be our last visit to the after hours emergency clinic.  He did think the bright green bandage looked cool.  Here's a picture of Rambo.

And here he's making it clear that the photo shoot is over.

I'm afraid he's going to have a potty mouth when he grows up.  When I force him to do something dreadful {like wash his hands}, he storms off mumbling a three year olds version of curse words.  His favorite dirty word is stinky buttercups.  Say it in a ticked off three year old boy voice & you have a glimpse into my world.  I may just start yelling stinky buttercups at people who irritate me.

His favorite thing to do at home {since it's too cold to go outside & play in the dirt now} is sit in his room and play cars.  We used to play friendly, happy cars but these days the cars are always attacking each other.  Raising a little boy is a learning process. My toys never beat each other up as a kid, so I'm new to this.  He loves to pretend he's a robot monster attacking the cars.  Then I pretend to be a robot Mommy, attacking him with kisses.  He giggles, then says "okay, that's enough".  :)

Being a mom to a little boy is such a blessing.  He teaches me to think outside the box and say the alphabet in a monster voice to hold his interest.  He forces me to be thick skinned and not panic at every bump and bruise.  And Garrett is my little reminder not to take life too seriously and have some fun.

Happy Holidays

Yesterday I dressed the kids up in their Christmas outfits, grabbed props from the house and forced them out into the cold.  All in the name of getting a good Christmas picture.  I think it turned out pretty darn cute.  Although, trying to do it really fast and moving the kids to four different locations in the yard before they started complaining about how cold it was {sorry kids}, I now realize I didn't loop the Merry Christmas sign over the 3rd rung on the sled.  This is driving me crazy, but I'll just have to get over it.  I'm not putting us through that again.  I also waited too late in the day and there wasn't enough sunlight.

Here are some of the other pictures that turned out cute.

Sydney is so photogenic & waits patiently for her little brother to look at the camera and smile.  I may have to frame this one because it makes me laugh.

I'm trying very hard to keep this holiday season simple, fun and easy.  I will have my shopping finished tomorrow.  And hopefully will have all the presents wrapped and under the tree this weekend.  I want the next few weeks to be filled with meaningful family time.  Time spent watching our favorite Christmas movies over and over. {The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, A Christmas Story & Christmas Vacation}.  Lots of outings looking at Christmas lights and listening to Christmas songs. Our tradition of making a gingerbread house and sugar cookies.  Doing Christmas crafts with the kids and drinking lots of hot chocolate. {my diet starts in January}  And of course, remembering and teaching our kids what this holiday is truly about. 

In my efforts to keep things simple, I've decided not to send out Christmas cards this year.  It is time consuming and can be costly.  All for something people throw away at the end of December.  So let this blog post be my virtual Christmas card to everyone. 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!



I Am Thankful

I'm thankful I get to spend my days with this guy.  Even the challenging & exhausting days.

I'm thankful playing in the leaves makes her this happy.

I'm thankful playing in the dirt makes him this happy. 

I'm thankful for our home and that we have space to play, grow a garden and have a bon fire.

I'm thankful I'm married to a good man who is a good father to our kids.

Happy Thanksgiving!

A Decade

Allen & I recently celebrated our 10 year anniversary. 

We met by the lockers in the 8th grade and became instant friends.  Even as a kid, there was something about Allen that made me feel safe & trusting around him.  We used to drive around and listen to music with the windows down.  I would play him Led Zeppelin and he would play me Beastie Boys. 

Fast forward to the college days, when I started realizing maybe there was more there than friendship here.  I'm a girl who speaks my mind and our relationship began with me calling him in the middle of the night telling him I was in love with him and I thought we should go on a real date.  He thought it sounded like a good idea and was probably a little shocked and confused.  I've probably shocked him a million times more with my brutal honesty. {not always a good thing}

And so we had our first real date in June of 1997.  It was the most nervous I had ever been to go on a date. We had been spending time together for years, but suddenly I was nervous to sit across a table from him.  Isn't that funny?

Fast forward a few years later to December 29th, 2000.  He got on one knee in the snow and asked me to marry him.  Of course, I said yes!  I called my parents to tell them and my Dad's response: "was he drunk?"  That is so my Dad's humor!  My parents LOVED Allen and were thrilled.

And so, we got married on October 20, 2001 and the rest is history.  Three houses and two kids later, here we are.  We've had a lot of fun times and a lot of hard times. We've felt poor and wealthy and everything in between. We've had fun nights with our best friends, camping trips at Blue River and we've gone to a lot of concerts. We've spent late nights dreaming up business ideas to try together, but in the morning we always decide it's too risky.  One day I hope we don't talk ourselves out of a fun new idea to try.

After ten years of marriage, we seem to be more in sync than ever.  We like our simple, semi old fashioned lifestyle.  We like that we have learned to live simply after years of wasteful spending.  We love the same quirky music.  And we still like to drive around listening to music together. 

This is our song.

Backyard Camping

We planned on taking the kids on their first real camping trip this Fall, but work & weather have gotten in the way.  So we decided to camp in our back yard in the meantime. 

We cooked our dinner outside on the fire and roasted marshmallows for smores.

I bought junk food that I usually don't allow so they loved that.  Hey, at least the hot dogs were nitrate free.  They got a nice chemical high from the Cheetos & Oreos & were wired for the night. 

We listened to music, told stories & looked at the stars.  And then we were grateful that we lived in an area just country enough to do this in our back yard!  It wasn't true camping, however, because when we got tired we went in the house & slept in our warm, comfy beds. 

It was so much fun that we decided to start doing it quite often.  Talk about an easy, low key getaway!  If you turn your back to our house, all you see are woods & you'd never know you weren't camping at Blue River!

Trick or Treat

This Fall has been jam packed full of fun.  We visited our usual pumpkin patch and picked out the biggest pumpkin there.  Then came home and Allen got busy working his magic.  He takes projects like this very seriously.

The kids picked out two little pumpkins to paint.



We also made sugar cookies because it's just too fun to only do at Christmas time!

Again, Allen took the decorating very seriously & worked in his Oklahoma logo.  He even carved the state into the back side of our pumpkin this year.

Sydney wanted to be a pink cowgirl for Halloween.  I'd say she's the prettiest pink cowgirl I've ever seen!

And Garrett went with spider man.  Words cannot describe how cute his tush looks in this outfit.  He is showing off his muscles here.

Last year he boycotted costumes and refused to dress up.  So I was thrilled when Halloween came & he actually wore it!

It's tradition in our family that my Mama Bertha makes all the Grand kids & Great Grand kids a caramel apple. So she is always our first stop on trick or treat night. 

He ate all the caramel off and left the apple.  Go figure.

After visiting the Grandmas and trick or treating, we came home to check out our loot.  Awesome!

Then we tucked the kids in & went to sleep.  Only to be woke up at midnight by Garrett projectile vomiting.  We thought it must have been candy overload.  But just about the time I got his room cleaned up {it was as bad as you could possibly imagine}, Sydney started.  And so began a cycle of both kids taking turns throwing up for about the next twelve hours.  Nice.  We got zero sleep.  By the 5 am puke I wanted to cry because I was so tired.  Every bed linen in this house was covered in puke & the piles of dirty sheets were taking over the laundry room.  But now, 24 hours later, everyone is doing fine.  And I'm still washing bedding.  Happy Halloween!

Moving Forward

I took a little break from blogging.  When I first started blogging a couple years ago, it was for my own personal viewing. I kept it private for a long time.  It was my therapy.  My outlet.   As a stay at home mom, it's easy to forget who you are besides "mom".  And this blog serves a huge purpose for me to stay in touch with all the little parts of me.  This has become my place in the universe to dump my thoughts, my recipes, my love for music & my randomness. I love blogging. But when you see that people are starting to read everything you've put out there, it gets a little intimidating. 

I am a true Gemini.  A walking contradiction.  One minute I'm an open book, the next I am reverting back into my shell.  So my rule is to blog when I'm loving it, and to take a break when it starts freaking me out. 

Life took another tragic turn for our family.  In August, Allen's Dad died suddenly of a heart attack.  It was a complete shock to us.  We had dinner with him the night before.  We sat at the restaurant and talked for a long time.  Allen sat by his Dad and Garrett sat on the other side of him.  Scottie cut Garrett's dinner up for him.  I'm thankful for that last dinner together with Scottie.  It was completely unplanned and spur of the moment.  I believe this is a perfect example of God working in our lives.  That unplanned last dinner with Scottie was a gift.

The next day we got a call from the Chaplain at the hospital, telling us to come fast.  He wouldn't tell us any details over the phone.  I drove Allen's Grandma {Scottie's Mom} to the hospital & I knew in my heart that our lives would be different on our drive back home. 

It is so hard to wrap my head around all the loss Allen & I have suffered together.  In five short years, we've lost both our Fathers and Allen's best friend, Justin.  I've had to tell Sydney twice that a Grandpa has died.  As a Mother, it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.  Looking at their sweet, innocent faces and knowing that what I'm about to say will change them forever. 

Our future flashed before my eyes after saying my last good bye to Scottie.  My babies don't have Grandpas.  Our Mother's are both widows.  Allen & I are both broken and so are our entire families.  How do we make sure our children have a firm foundation to grow on when everyone is broken?   I know Allen has a long, hard road ahead of him.  I want to help him, but I know all I can do is just be here for him.  Here to listen.  Here to hug.  Here to cry.  Here to pick up the slack when he can't muster the strength.  But grief is a private battle within your soul. 

At the end of a dark & tragic turn in life, there is always the opportunity for enlightenment.  Once you are faced with the reality that our time here on this earth can end suddenly, you are forced to evaluate the path you've chosen.  And once you decide the right path, it is time to move forward...one baby step at a time. 

Scottie & Garrett tilling our family garden.

Allen chose the perfect song to play at his Dad's funeral service. 

Dan Auerbach ~ "Goin Home"

Love

Farm Life {Digging Up Potatoes}

This is my second year of gardening, and potatoes are one of my favorite things about growing our own food.  Potatoes are one of the most important foods to eat organic because of their thin skins.  So I absolutely love growing our own.  They are easy to grow and it's fun digging them up.  It's kind of like hunting Easter eggs in the dirt!



We had a lot of potatoes to dig so we made it a family affair. 

Isn't it amazing that planting some plants in early Spring will give you this amount of food by late Spring?  If you've never grown your own food, I highly recommend it.  It's very rewarding.

We got some large onions and a lot of small ones.  You can chop them up and freeze them.  This would be great for making soups and stews in the Winter.

With all our fresh red and white potatoes, plus the ones we canned {more about that coming soon}, I hope to not have to buy potatoes for the rest of the year.

This is our little chicken house.  Isn't it cute?  My Father-in-Law built it.  He's pretty handy like that.  I think the chickens would enjoy a cute front door though.  Maybe I'll paint it for them. ;)

Our chickens should start laying eggs in the Fall.  I cannot wait!  There's nothing better than fresh eggs.  Our little chicken community is funny.  They each have their own personality and there's a pecking order.  My in-laws said they fight over who gets the best spot to roost at night.  There are some definite bullies in the group.  We have guinea hens now too and, apparently, the chickens gang up on the guineas. 

The kids like to try and catch them.  It's easier said than done.  And you learn fast that flip flops are not the best shoe for the chicken yard.  Unless, you like chicken poop on your toes.

This is what the garden looks like now that we've pulled the cool weather plants {potatoes, onions, radishes, broccoli, lettuce, sugar snap peas & mustard greens}.  Now we're hoping for a good crop of tomatoes, peppers and green beans.

I love learning this way of life.  It's hard to imagine there was a time when all you had to eat was what you grew yourself.  I'm thankful for some of our modern day conveniences, but I think it's important to learn to live off the land too.  I think we've found a nice balance.  But I'm eager to learn more every year.  It's a lot of work but there's just something about eating food you grew and prepared yourself.  It makes you proud and it definitely tastes better.  I'm grateful that Allen's parents are passing their wisdom down to us.  You can only learn so much from the internet.  It's great to have people in our lives to show us how to do these things.  The kids think it's pretty fun too.