Today is my 33rd birthday!
I have really grown into my own skin in the last year. In my 32nd year, I:
* Got back to nature. I grew up loving the outdoors and kind of forgot that part of me for a while. I spent the last year digging in the dirt, planting vegetables and flowers, sitting under the trees and taking pictures of the sky.
* Realized I am most at peace when things are calm and simplified. So I made a lot of changes to simplify my life and slow down a bit. This included learning to say no to things I do not want to do, letting the house get a little messy, de-cluttering the house and getting rid of things and services we do not need.
* Re-discovered my religion and truly let God into my life. I suddenly felt God's presence and no longer felt the need to ask all the "yeah, but..." questions I had been asking for a decade.
* Finally gave myself permission to stop the crazy cycle of "diets". I realized God did not put me on this earth to count every calorie, go to weight loss meetings and make myself crazy wanting what I told myself I cannot have. I was wasting so much energy focusing on these things. The minute I gave myself permission to eat what I wanted, I learned that I actually wanted the healthier stuff. And by not putting any rules and restrictions on myself, I have actually slimmed down some.
* Learned a little about raising chickens, how to butcher a chicken, can potatoes, grow lots of vegetables and tried learning to crochet but haven't had much time to practice.
* Realized how much I enjoy writing my thoughts on here for the world to see. It is oddly therapeutic. Although, I'm still a little shy about people I know actually reading my blog! Strange, I know.
* Baked all our bread products. I did not buy a single loaf of bread, ready made pie or pizza crust, frozen pizza, muffin, etc. for the entire year.
* Surrounded myself with the music I love every single day. Saw Band of Horses {twice}, Interpol, Heartless Bastards and Kings of Leon in concert.
I also had my fair share of hardships this year. I really understand the "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" saying.
* My car broke down too many times to count. The "check engine" light has become way too familiar to me.
* The kids and I got the flu at the same time and it was horrible.
* Garrett was in the hospital for something that could have gone horribly. But thankfully, didn't.
* Sydney was in the er for a fall that could have gone horribly. But thankfully, didn't.
* We wanted to pay off all our debt, but soon realized, it's easier said than done on one self-employed income.
But what I learned from all these hardships is this:
While we had a lot of "close calls", "what ifs" and financial set backs, the important thing to focus on is that we recovered. Our health recovered. Our financial situation is recovering and the debt is going down. My car is a pain in the you know what, but with a lot of tinkering and constant checking, is still getting me where I need to go. All these hardships brought us all closer together. Seeing my babies sick made me want to be a better Mother and spend less time doing chores and more time playing. Going through struggles together made Allen & I closer and our marriage stronger than ever. Struggling has forced me to trust in God and constantly remind myself to try not to worry. He will carry the weight for me. After all, God came to me in my time of need after losing my Dad. I didn't even know to ask for help, but he knew I needed to be lifted up. And he came to me, picked me up off the ground and showed me the direction to go.
So my lesson from my 32nd year is this: Eat, pray, love, be thankful for what is instead of scared for what might have been, listen to the music I love because it makes me feel alive, go on dates, spend time with my girlfriends, try new things, say no, learn new things and get outside!
For my birthday, I'm playing a song from where my love of music began. As a 15 year old, I fell in love with Led Zeppelin. "Fool In The Rain" is one of my favorite songs.
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